They wrongly believe living together gives them the same legal rights as marriage, but family lawyers warn this is simply not true. When relationships break down, or one partner dies, many discover too late that years of sharing a home and finances count for far less in law than they ever imagined. The warning applies just as much to older readers starting a new relationship after bereavement or divorce as it does to younger couples buying their first home. So consider raising it with children and grandchildren who are buying without thinking through the legal consequences.
Petra van Dijk, director at SE-Solicitors, said the same mistakes appear “again and again”, largely because couples assume the law will protect them without anything being put in writing. Here are the five biggest mistakes to avoid.
Believing in the “common law marriage” myth. Many couples still think that living together for long enough automatically gives them legal rights over property and financial support. Van Dijk said: “Couples often tell me they’ve been ‘as good as married’ for a decade, thinking that counts for something legally. It doesn’t.” Many are shocked to discover they have no automatic right to stay in the home or share its value if the relationship ends.
Paying towards the mortgage without a written agreement. It’s common for one partner to pay the deposit while both contribute towards the mortgage or household bills. Van Dijk said this can be one of the biggest flashpoints after a separation. “If your partner moves in and starts contributing to the mortgage, that does not automatically hand them a claim to your home, but it does create a legal grey area.”
Couples can end up spending vast sums arguing over ownership that could have been avoided by putting a simple legal agreement in place from the start.
Paying for improvements to a home you don’t own. Many couples happily split the cost of a new kitchen, an extension, or a renovation. Van Dijk said: “I’ve seen partners spend tens of thousands renovating a home they don’t legally own without ever agreeing on what they’d get back.” She recommends a Declaration of Trust to record those contributions and help protect them if the relationship ends.
Forgetting to make or update a will. Under intestacy rules in England and Wales, an unmarried partner has no automatic right to inherit if somebody dies without a valid will, even after decades together. “If you want your partner to inherit your share of the home, you need a will that says so explicitly. Without it, the law will decide for you, and it will not decide in your partner’s favour.”
This mistake can prove devastating after a bereavement, leaving the surviving partner facing the prospect of buying out relatives or selling their home.
Trusting promises instead of paperwork. Vague promises to split everything can prove almost impossible to enforce years later. “A conversation is not a legal document. When money is on the table, memories change. What felt like a shared plan five years ago turns into two completely different stories in a courtroom,” van Dijk said.
Lawyers recommend a Declaration of Trust to record who owns what, a cohabitation agreement to cover broader financial arrangements, and an up-to-date will. These may not be the most romantic conversations to have, but they could spare you a bitter legal dispute later.
