Ronnie O’Sullivan is on the hunt for the perfect cue ahead of the World Snooker Championship.
The 49-year-old is yet to find one he likes after snapping his go-to equipment in a moment of rage after a shock 3-2 defeat to Chris Wakelin in a Championship League match in January.
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O’Sullivan, who has pulled out of five tournaments since the incident due to his battle with ‘snooker depression’, admits he does not know whether he will compete at the World Championships which begins at the Crucible on April 19.
Discussing the dilemma, O’Sullivan told SunSport: “I literally don’t have a cue. I still haven’t found one that I’m comfortable with.
“Still just trying out different ones. Trying to find one that I like. I have probably changed my cue four, five times.
“On two or three occasions, I found one straightaway. On the other two occasions, it has taken me sometimes a year to find one.”
The Rocket says both halves of the cue were thrown into the bin, however it was pulled out by his mate Robbie who opted to keep hold of the legendary, albeit broken cue.
“Unrepairable. It’s a bit of memorabilia now. It’ll be getting sold off,” O’Sullivan laughed.
“I do regret it, really. Because it was my cue. It’s hard to find another one. What happened was just coming. I have done it before. And it’s not the game — it’s me really.
“I have just been struggling for so long now. I just couldn’t do it anymore, to be honest with you. I couldn’t. And I’m still struggling now, to be honest.
“I literally have had enough of playing what I call unacceptable snooker.”
The Rocket was missing from the Masters, German Masters, Welsh Open and World Grand Prix, citing ‘medical grounds’ for his absence.
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He had planned to take part in the Welsh Open in February having driven for nine hours from Essex to Llandudno for the event.
But after checking into a hotel, he did not feel ready to compete and opted to drive back home instead of playing at the tournament.
He also revealed that he has been ‘scared’ to approach a practice table and only resumed training in mid-March ahead of the World Championships, after going on a couple of holidays.
He is currently training for 15 hours a week, a number that will rise when he returns from a trip to his snooker academy in Saudi Arabia.
The seven-time world champion is keen to compete at the Crucible but his presence in Sheffield hinges on whether he feels he can be competitive at his current level.
He said: “I’ll make a decision when I feel like I’m ready to make a decision. That will be it.
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“I know I have nothing to prove. But I was getting to the point where I was scared to even go near a table.
“Not even the match table, just a practice table. And that has been going on for a long time.
“I tried to play through it. I just tried and I tried and I tried. I was getting no enjoyment out of it.
“Even that season when I won five tournaments, it was just hard. I couldn’t keep going on struggling.
“At some point you’ve got to try and enjoy the game. I can only enjoy it if I’m playing half decent.
“I’ll make a decision after those three good sparring sessions that I have arranged. Until then, I will be working as hard as I can to try and figure out the problem.”
Life away from snooker has been eventful for the Rocket with reports surfacing that he had separated from long-term partner and Holby City actress Laila Rouass.
But the star revealed that he is in good spirits mentally and that his time away from the sport stemmed from issues with his game.
“Everything’s fine,” the world No.4 confirmed. “The private life is good. It’s just with the snooker.
“It got to the point where I was struggling with the game. I always call it snooker depression. Call it stage fright.
“Call it whatever you like. It starts to affect you mentally.
“Listen, that’s why I snapped my cue, I just couldn’t take it any more. I don’t want to put myself in a situation where I feel like that could happen again. I need to find the love for the game, to find that passion.
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“I’m not bothered about winning and losing. I never have been.
“I’ve always been more, ‘Where’s my game at?’ If my game is all right, then cool. If it’s terrible, I can leave that for one, two, three, four months.
“But I can’t live for three, four years of struggling and just grinding it out. It was just no fun, to be honest with you. I’m trying to unravel it.
“If you’d asked me the question, do you think I’ll ever get to a point where I feel comfortable enough to go and play?
“Well, the answer two days ago would have been probably ‘maybe’. If you ask me today, after the last two practice sessions, I’d say absolutely not.
“But I’m not going to quit. I definitely won’t quit.”
